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Blog Post Updated 1/1/21 I revised and revamped this blog post because I enjoyed writing it back New Year's Eve of 2018 but now that I've survived 2020 I have an even deeper appreciation for this New Year's Intentions.
This year, unlike every other New Years Eve for as long as I can remember, I am not making a new year’s resolution. I am not participating in the “New Year New me” mentality but I will be plan out my intentions.
I like the me that I’m becoming and she’s coming with me into the new year. The lessons I learned, the hardships I faced, the goals I have crushed, and also my new goals are coming with me into 2019. I don’t want a clean slate, I worked too hard on myself to press reset on January 1st.
January is a great time to revamp your self-care because the demanding and draining holiday season has passed and you can fully pour into yourself and examine your needs. Give yourself more. This is also a great opportunity (think after holiday sales) to gift yourself some things that can help you with your goals. Check out some suggestions at the end of the post!
I am not creating a resolution this year instead I’m going to revisit some old goals, make new ones and ask myself three questions. I hope after reading this you do the same.
So if a synonym for a resolution is a plan, then you must look at your New Year’s Resolution not as a January 1st start date but as a guideline.
In this plan, you need to examine the past behaviors, lifestyle, and choices that have brought you to this new decision. You cannot plan without having a why, and your why is back in the previous year.
According to U.S News, 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February
Why is that? A large factor is that people are not addressing or healing their trauma, triggers, and mindset before the new year rolls in.
It’s who you are and the healing that was done before the end of the year that rolls into the promises you make to yourself in January.
January is the month to identify all parts of your plan so that by February you are actively working towards your goals instead of back to the same “old you” but now with self- disappointment, remorse, and negative self- talk riding along. Let’s save ourselves this, please.
Three-Step Formula to New Year’s Intentions
What is Your New Year’s Intentions?
Be intentional with your goals. For each intention or promise that you make to yourself physically write out why you’re making this promise, what needs to happen for your plan, and how you are going to be successful long-term.
It is important to write this out because the act of writing things down enables better brain function and focus. When writing them down also make sure they are SMART goals.
S- specific
M-measurable
A-attainable
R-realistic
T-timely
Why are These Your New Year’s Intentions ?
Questions to ask yourself to identify the why behind it all.
- How am I going to shift my thoughts/ change my mindset to better suit these new intentions?
- What am I going to do to make sure I don’t let myself down
- How am I going to stay accountable?
- What does failing at this look like
- Am I willing to start again if I do slip up ?
Your why could be as many reasons as you see fit, but you need to know the drive behind the decision to do something different, and why what you did before didn’t work.
How Are You Going to Make These New Year’s Intentions a Reality?
Has your mindset shifted for success? How are you going to make sure that this is achievable without being overwhelming? Identify how you plan to take care of yourself every step of the way.
What is your plan? What are you going to do to maintain your motivation, your attitude for success, and what are you going to do if you slip up on your goals (I hope your answer is always to start again).
Anti-New Year New Me Pro Ways to Correct Past Behaviors
You know what I’m not going to do? Act like these last 12 months did nothing for me, everything I learned, the challenges I faced and even my failures played a part in my becoming. Take what you have learned and the work you have done over the past year or more and plan out your New Year intentions to incorporate the lessons last year has taught you.
Don’t discard the older version of yourself because they have a hand in the person you are working to be.
New Year New Me? I don’t want it.
There is false hope that come January 2ndst you’re going to wake up a brand new person. A person that all of the sudden LOVES waking up for 5 am workouts, craves kale over cupcakes, or writes a nonfiction in three months.
By far the most popular New Year’s resolution is to get fit (loose x amount of weight, gain Y amount of muscle, do this in xyz timeframe). New Year’s resolutions make it seem like we are just suppose to wake up one morning with this routine set and the burning love for fitness.
What is the What, how and why do this goal or intention?
Why are you doing this? Want to be healthier, train for a marathon, be stronger?
How are you going to maintain motivation through the harsh winter and into the rooftop drinking season? (202o me is laughing thinking about when I use to go OUT )
How are you going to handle the lack of motivation that goes along with a stressful day at work, problems at home, or lack of sleep? A pandemic.
What are you doing for yourself to promote a healthy lifestyle? What are your mindset changes around dieting and exercise? Do you have an exercise plan? Are you going to meal prep and count calories? How is this commitment going to fit into your daily life? What is your routine going to look like?
January as a time of reflection, a month to get your plan of action in place in.
Change your mind, Change your life.
I believe your why is half the battle, if you are not looking at fitness as a way to love and care for your body then I’m afraid your motivation will taper out. When looking at why you eat vegetables and nutrient-rich food as a way to nourish your body and give it what it needs to function, it becomes less of a chore and more of an intentional act of wellness.
When you decide that exercise is not a punishment but a celebration of strength and an act of self- care you will want to do what feels right because you love your body.
Yes, you can love your body and still want to adjust it, as long as you know that your body shape or number on the scale does not define you. Your worth doesn’t increase with a decrease in body size.
You will find your motivation in small acts of self- love when you reward your body and mind with healthy food and movement.
With a change, there is push back
Change brings up emotions that have lived deeply in us for months or even years. Self-sabotage can look like negative self- talk “what’s the point” or the inability to do the “right” things for yourself or change because of fear of failure.
Self- sabotage will have you doubting yourself before you even start. It’s your responsibility to identify your self- sabotaging habits and hold yourself accountable.
Is it lack of
- preparation
- routine
- sleep
- options
- discipline
- self- control
- self- compassion
How you counteract sabotage is with self-awareness and discipline. Self- awareness is knowing when, how, and why you are letting yourself down. Discipline is calling on the reasons you have written down as guidance during hard times. A part of not letting yourself down is setting realistic expectations for yourself. If you want to write a book, don’t expect yourself to write 20 pages a night. The goal is to challenge yourself daily to do a little more without setting yourself up for disappointment. Self- awareness is keeping yourself accountable. Accountability is only hard when your not ready to acknowledge how your behaviors are harming your goals.
You push past your fear, discomfort, failures and keep going because you’re why is louder than your “why bother”.
So on This New Year
Be kind to yourself, make a promise to yourself that honors your self- love practices and make at least one resolution that involves adding something to your life instead of taking away. This year I will read more books, I will attend more events (2020 cackle) and I will continue to love and honor my journey.
As this new year rolls in, give yourself more; more patience, encouragement, veggies, education, and love.
Gift Guide for your Goals
If fitness is your goal add more water, movement, and veggies in your day. Staying mindful about what you are adding into your life instead of focusing on your inches, pounds, and the number on the scale is an act of self-love.
Stay hydrated with a Smart bottle or Inspirational time marked sports bottle
Meal prep is a must to save yourself time, money and keep you from grabbing something not as healthy. Meal prep containers are a must have, try Glass Meal Prep Containers that are freezable, microwavable and eco-friendly. I have this exact set and I love it.
Don’t know where to start or getting bored with the same recipes? Invest in a meal prep Cookbook
My resolution is to transition to natural ingredients for all products I use, this includes hair care, beauty, and skin care. Pretty much anything I put on my body will eventually be clean, even my deodorant. Read my review of Schmidt’s Natural Deodorant here
Transition your makeup, hair care, and skin care to clean products, Safe and Chic offer a one-stop shop destination for clean and cruelty-free beauty, skin care, and hair products. They offer to provide curated brands that focus on healthy & clean ingredients for you and our planet.
A vegan, non-toxic & cruelty-free collection designed for any skin tone and founded by women of color. Home to the perfect nude for you. Read my post on 7 Black owned Natural Makeup Brands to Try ASAP for more Black-Owned Makeup brands.
A natural skin and hair beauty brand that is cruelty-free and believes that no one should have to sacrifice health and value for beauty. Give their Clean Essentials Kit a try if you want to start building your green beauty collection.
Mielle Organics Pomegranate & Honey Line
My go-to styler for twist out and wash & go.
Gift yourself great sleep with Coyuchi, organic Sheets Thoughtfully designed for your sleeping habits.
Golde Matcha Turmeric Latte Blend
I love adding their matcha or Latte to my mourning routine. Also Black-Owned!
For the last several months I’ve been an Aerie Ambassador so I can personally attest to the quality of their items. I live in their lounge sets and their workout leggings are flattering and supportive. I’m wearing a full Aerie fit in this blog image!
Nordstrom Rack is another great place to find affordable workout/ lounge wear. I have these leggings!
If your goal is to be mindful and productive a planner or journal is a great way to start.
The Goal Getter planner is a productivity journal for daily goal setting, it comes with inspirational and motivational quotes.
Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration is an interactive journal designed to help readers nurture their creativity, mindfulness, and self-motivation. It helps readers navigate the confusion and chaos of daily life
The Happiness Project One-Sentence Journal that prompts you to write one sentence each day for the next five years.
If you are a list lover, The 52 List Project is for you. With this, you create 52 lists, one for every week of the year, that will help you discover the beauty, joy, creativity, that you already own. It nurtures self- expression, and self- development while challenging you with prompts to take ownership of your life.
G.Michelle is an inspirational self-care lover that I follow on Instagram. She launched her own guided journal this year, Self Explore, Self Restore: A Guided Self-Care Journal Created to Support Your Relationship with Yourself invites you to explore explores the important parts of who you are and identifies what you need to have safe and healthy relationships.
For me, therapy is THE biggest act of self-care. I go twice a month as needed and with my health insurance pay a $30 co-pay. It has helped me heal, see myself in a better light and uncover the woman the was hiding behind the pain, fear, and self-doubt. If you are to gift yourself one thing off this list, please consider the gift of healing.
I found my therapist through Psychology Today here I was able to search through therapists using my own filters such as, what insurance I used, the preferred gender of therapist, how far away I wanted to travel and type of issues they discuss.
Better help is the words largest e-counseling platform, their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, convenient – so anyone who struggles with life’s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere.
Talk Space is a newer online option for therapy. You first start by taking a questionnaire, then selecting a therapist that meets your needs, choosing a payment plan and finally messaging your therapist.
If this year you want to get into yoga, meditation, or breathing exercises.
Calm named the #1 app for mindfulness and wellness, designed to help you find peace of mind and better sleep. They offer guided meditation, stretching, and mindful movements.
Headspace provides bite-sized themed sessions that can fit into your busy day on stress, focus, sleep, and anxiety.
Exectful is for the moms, and the moms-to-be, its a guided meditation app for your fertility, pregnancy, and motherhood journey.
5 Minute Yoga is an app that aims to help you with fast, efficient, and purpose-oriented yoga routines that are ideal for beginners.
I am a firm believer in the “you can never be overdressed or overeducated”. Every year, heck every few months I want to learn something new. Education is the gift that keeps on giving.
I have used Udemy.com to learn how to use excel. You can choose from over 80,000 online video courses on topics such as design, marketing, photography, business, IT, and Web development.
Open2study.com provides a large range of free courses covering subjects like financial literacy, food and nutrition and writing for the web.
Skill Sucess.com offers traditional courses on things like a business but also a very unique one like Raw food recipe and cooking course, start your own life coach business and a complete guide to essential oils and Aromatherapy.
With love,
Dani