My first dose of self-care was surrounding myself with ambitious women in the fashion, fitness, and wellness space. We gushed over soft serve mimosas, got our pictures taken by the talented Anna of Behind the Click, and we talked about our “why”.

Off I went to the studio, this would be my second time at their new studio over at Mission Hill.  As a matter of fact, if you haven’t done so already, do yourself a favor and sign up for a Trillfit class. You will leave there thighs burning, booty all shook, and pouring girl power.

17 black women of all ages and backgrounds including one of my close friends who, unlike me, meditated regularly formed a circle around Jasmine. The focus of this breathwork was to heal our relationship with money and break generational curses that have been passed on by women being the over-givers and under- receivers.

“We will use the power of breath to move stagnant and stuck energy out of our bodies to truly make space for all we wish to call in and receive in 2019” Jasmine Marie, the founder of black girls breathing.

For this purpose, we were instructed to bring a yoga mat, water bottle, journal and a blanket which I forgot. I took off my tunic and belt and was ready for the healing.

The session started by us answering writing prompts about our relationship with money, our family’s relationship with money, and how that translates to how we felt about it as adults.

 I learned so much about our struggle as Black Women. We are the givers, we are the nurturers, healers, and the backbone of our families yet subconsciously we believe we are undeserving when it comes to getting paid fairly for our services, talents, or skills.

Around me, the stories of women with credentials a mile long and experts in their field shared how they still experience that tightening in their chest when pricing out services or asking for that raise. From the corporate lawyer to the yoga teacher, black women are undervaluing ourselves.

The fear of not being good enough has allowed other people’s opinions of how we priced our worth to stop us. Our sense of worthiness is tied into how we operate on a corporate level and how entrepreneurs price out their goods and services.  Keeping this in mind, there are several factors affecting the pay gap but it doesn’t help if we are not asking for what is rightfully ours.

I sat and listened to these gems being dropped but internally I looked like this.  Not to mention how timely this session was for me as I had an interview later in the week, and was already stressing about what I would accept as a salary. As a matter of fact, when instructed to write out our ideal number of money to make in 2019 and 2020 I thought about my interview and immediately doubted myself. I doubted my skills. “Are they really going to pay me that, *gulp*”? I started listing the reasons why they wouldn’t instead of reminding myself what I have to offer them.

We are committing a disservice to ourselves by accepting less than what we deserve and continuing the generational curse.

Jasmine opened my eyes wide when she stated that we are holding the black community back when we offer free events and services. In fact, we are putting energy out there that the black community is unable to pay, unable to save their money, budget, and invest in something for themselves. Read that again because, wow. We can support our community and underfunded black-owned business by paying their price which results in more resources circling back into the community.

She had already dropped all those truth bombs and we were just moving into the actual breathwork.

With Jasmine’s guidance, we laid on our mats and closed our eyes and began to breathe. Music played in the background but I was too focused on my breathing to notice. At first, it was hard Y’all!  Actively working to breathe was an interesting experience. Soon enough I picked up the rhythm and that’s when my mind left the room. Things quickly got intense.

Jasmine walked around us speaking affirmations of acceptance, receiving, and the ability to have a life we want. I was having visions of the life I was too afraid to admit to myself that I wanted. The kind of life that you see other people having but can’t imagine your life being that good, that full, or that happy.

As a result, all those things I unknowingly didn’t think I was deserving of were coming to me clear as day, it was no longer a question of  “can I have that?” or “will I accomplish this?”  it truly felt like that life was already mine I just need to reach out and grasp it.

My fingers tingled and my lips shook as if I was summoning this power from the universe into me to touch it.  I kid you not… that is how I felt.

The sense of release was immense, I can describe it as being uncorked. I could feel my creativity pouring back into me, my confidence rising, and my once racing mind was settled.

It was all so intense.

There were times when my consciousness came back to the room and picked up on the noises around me. “mind your own mat” Jasmine’s reminder rang in my head.

Eyes still closed, the exhales, cries, and moans around me were beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. With each deep exhale a room of 17 women worked on ridding themselves of years of trauma, pain, self- doubt, and limiting beliefs.

It was primal. It was soul shaking. I felt honored to be in the room.

When Jasmine called out

“Your ancestors are so proud of you”

I believed it.

We inhaled our blessing, we inhaled our purpose, and we released stagnant energy and stress. This continued on until the song that indicated our transition into normal breathing began.  As I descended to my body, which was filled with power and ambition, Holy by Jamila Woods filled the space. This is when tears poured freely from my closed eyes and I began softly singing her song which has become my self-love mantra and an important part of my morning routine over the last year.

Breathwork: is a powerful active meditation technique used to usher stagnant energy out of the body, help acknowledge and release difficult emotions and traumas, and decrease anxiety and stress by reframing the nervous system’s response.

A week later, this experience is still a source of strength, in that studio, I truly healed some of my old wounds. It’s common that breathwork brings back unresolved trauma which rang true for my friend, ” it helped me mourn the death of someone in my family that I didn’t have the chance to do” Pru stated.

Thank you Jasmine, for creating b g b that allowed me to unchain myself from my limiting beliefs, unlock my power, and experience how a breathwork circle can change my relationship with money. I am fully ready to receive all that is mine.

To learn more about black girls breathing or attend a virtual breathwork circle head to her page

With love,

Dani