Without a morning routine, I would fall victim to self-sabotage. Every weekend I would lay in bed for hours on my phone, I’m talking hours of endless scrolling where I would only get out of bed once I couldn’t hold my bladder anymore.

Usually, by this time it would be past noon and my whole morning was spent doing nothing productive, nothing for me, and nothing for my goals. I immediately  would spiral into guilt and negative thoughts of “what’s wrong with me” “why do I keep doing this” ” why am I like this”

Every weekend this would happen to me, I would go to bed Friday night with plans of an early morning workout, reading a few chapters of a novel that’s been sitting on my nightstand and finally starting this very blog.

It didn’t help that this was around the time that I would wake up alone because my fiance would be clocked in at base by 4:30 AM.  We live by ourselves, I had no one to tell me to get out of bed, no one to keep me accountable and no one to judge me. So when I finally did get out of bed all I would do was judge myself and rush around to do the bare minimum so I could hide from him that I spent 6 hours in bed. I no longer had time to truly enjoy my mornings, which resulted in restless, guilt-filled and unsatisfied weekends.

As I got deeper into my self – love journey I was able to identify the issue,  I was afraid to start. I was afraid to start my day because I had to do it alone.  I didn’t want to be alone with my own thoughts. So I began listening to music.

I created a playlist called ” vibes” its multi-facets playlist of my many emotions.  Some songs are slow and moody, some make me shimmy alone around my apartment, and most of them are my self- love anthem. if I happen to wake up sad, then I had sad music to wash over me so I could truly feel it, the next song could remind me why I am deserving of happiness.  Music allowed me to feel my emotions, unpack it and then sort it back into something manageable. It also allowed me to celebrate my journey as a badass self-loving woman, thanks Lizzo

http:/https://open.spotify.com/user/1244207843/playlist/2BXK2uvXKCHzBUMVWuoXvU?si=KyyWjc6hTH2mfri-7G_etQ

So I began waking up looking forward to playing my weekend morning playlist, the rule was that I could only start listening once I got out of bed.  Thus began my morning routine,

make tea

play music

light candles

tend to my plants

Now, even with my fiance home, I spend less than 30 minutes in bed, sometimes leaving him there to get up, and out to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

Once the water is set I put my music on and use the time before the kettle sings to light my candles of choice and tidy up around the apartment.  I pour myself a cup of green tea letting the tea bag soak for a few minutes while I tend to my plants, being a plant mama gave me another reason to get out of bed.

As the scents from my candles fill the air I dance, I drink tea, and I sing.  Most recently,  I’ve started writing down my goals, breaking them down by work week, weekend and day.  Every sip of tea brings me more and more clarity for the day I want to have.

I sit with my tea, my cup is full and I am not talking about the one in my hand. Sometimes I sit in complete stillness with the music washing over me and I am at peace. I did it, I got out of bed, put the phone down and spent my morning intentionally doing things for myself. I am in control of my mornings and I started my day on my terms.  These little things have become my routine, my self-care ritual that has transformed my mornings from self-sabotaging and guilt to contentment with myself by myself.

Woke up this morning with my mind set on loving me
With my mind set on loving me
Woke up this morning with my mind set on loving me
With my mind set on loving me
I’m not lonely, I’m alone
And I’m holy by my own
I’m not lonely, I’m alone
And I’m holy by my own

Jamila Woods “Holy”

Do you have a morning routine? If not, would you be interested in starting one? You deserve these moments to yourself, to be with yourself, to care for yourself and to love on yourself.

With Love,

Dani