I create playlists for almost everything: the gym, the pregame, the commute, when I want my husband to hear how mad I am, and even to clean. However, my favorite is my self-love playlist. These songs remind me that I am a badass with a good ass that is more than good enough. If I want to cry it out, then get back to business, I have at least two songs in there for that too.
I have been creating this self-love playlist since the summer of 2020 because it was one of the most difficult periods of my life. As a collective, we dealt with a pandemic. But personally, I had to bear witness to my friends, coworkers, and neighbor’s “racial awakening”. And the wedding my husband and I planned for three years turned into a covid wedding, which was a beautiful but still emotionally draining process.
So needless to say, having a collection of self-love songs was essential to surviving 2020. I turned to this playlist whenever I found myself asking, “Are you going to cry about it or boss up?” After a few songs, I usually did both and was back to my amazing unfuckwithable self.
If you don’t have a self-love playlist, you’re in luck since I’m sharing mine with you. This self-love playlist is full of songs about accepting yourself, self-discovery, and loving all that makes you, you.
Turn to this playlist when you are feeling good and want to celebrate yourself! If you’re in the mood to curl up with a cup of tea and enjoy a solo night in, I got a song for that. Feeling like shaking your booty in the mirror, I got you.
Self-love Songs about Self Discovery and Self Acceptance
These songs are about looking at what is hidden under the rug. I have learned that to love myself, I need to examine my current choices, actions and forgive myself for past mistakes.
Forgiveness is a crucial step in learning to love yourself, so it is not surprising that self-love songs are heavily focused on self-forgiveness.
“Forgive Myself” By Shaylen
Shaylen’s song is a raw and real look at how learning to forgive yourself is the first step in your self-love journey. The song opens with, “Don’t know how to love me/Don’t know how to love myself/Without somebody laying in my bed/Don’t know how to be alone/Don’t know how to be alone/Without the thought of crawling out my skin.”
Self-love looks like finally deciding to stop burying your hurt. It’s when you stop trying to distract yourself from your pain. It’s when you decide that healing yourself is worth the discomfort.
“I need to make better decisions/ I hate the way that I’m living/ So I’m gonna try this again/ Try it again”.
I also love the message in this song that we can try again as many times as we need to.
“Heal Me” by Grace Carter
This song has been called the anthem for the abandoned. Grace’s soulful voice reminds us that we are capable of saving ourselves.
Lyrics that spoke to me:
I’m not waiting for you to cure, you to heal me/I’m not waiting for, for your love.
You can keep it/I’m not waiting for you to come back/For you to let me down like that.
I’m not waiting for you to cure/I don’t need it
This song is the letter she wishes she sent to her father. As someone who has a non-existent relationship with my own family, this song deeply resonates with me.
“Love Myself” by Olivia O’ Brien
An important reminder that we don’t need to have it all figured out to love ourselves.
“I don’t need to know who I am yet/I don’t need to have a solid plan yet/I don’t need to be the same as everyone else/I just need to motherfuckin’ love myself”
We can simply decide to love ourselves a little better each day.
“Rise Up” by Andra Day
Andra Day’s song has been a tune of empowerment since 2015.
“You’re broken down and tired/Of living life on a merry go round/And you can’t find the fighter. But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out/And move mountains/We gonna walk it out/And move mountains.”
Sometimes self-love is about having the courage to keep going and preserve even if no one else is clapping for you.
“Perfect to Me” by Anne-Marie
Anne-Marie’s song is about her definition of perfect and how perfect looks like accepting herself as is.
“Just wanna stuff my face with leftover mac and cheese/You know I get depressed, are you impressed with my honesty?/So I wear what I wanna ’cause I’m cool with what’s underneath him.”
Take this song as a call to redefine what perfect looks and feels like to you.
“I Love Me” by Demi Lovato
Demi asks the important questions:
“Oh, why do I compare myself to everyone? And I always got my finger on the self destruct
I wonder when I love me is enough (yeah, yeah, yeah)/I wonder when I love me is enough (yeah, yeah, yeah)/ Why am I always looking for a ride or die?/Cause mine’s the only heart I’m gonna have for life.”
Self-love is an imperfect journey. There will be days when it’s harder to talk yourself out of your own negative thoughts.
Demi sings, “I’m my own worst critic/Talk a whole lot of shit/But I’m a ten out of ten/ Even when I forget”
You are worth loving yourself even on your hard days.
Self-love Songs To Dance in the Mirror Too
P.s. You won’t get to Lizzo’s level of self-love without self-reflecting.
Mature content ahead, so if you’re listening to these in mix company, you’ve been warned. These are the songs that make you want to shake your booty in the mirror. These self-love songs hype you and your girls up. The “he must’ve forgotten who the f*uck I am, but I sure as hell didn’t” type of songs! (Again, you’ve been warned.)
So turn it up, shake your ass and remind yourself that every inch of you is perfectly created.
I was debating on giving Lizzo her own category but I didn’t want to make this blog post too long. So I’ll only mention a few of her songs.
“Coconut Oil” by Lizzo
In this song, Lizzo sings about having everything she already needs.
Lyrics that spoke to me:
“I thought I needed to run and find somebody to love/ But all I needed was some coconut oil /
Don’t worry ’bout the small things, I know I can do all things”
“Juice” by Lizzo
Lizzo describes “Juice” as being “not just any old anthem—drenched as it is in themes of self-love and optimism—but the anthem.”
Lyrics that spoke to me:
“If I’m shining, everybody gonna shine/(Yeah, I’m goals)/I was born like this, don’t even gotta try
(Now you know)/I’m like Chardonnay, get better over time/(So you know)/Heard you say I’m not the baddest bitch, you lie”
“Scuse Me” by Lizzo
Lyrics that spoke to me:
“Woo, look up in the mirror, oh my God, it’s me/ So much Prada on me, I’m a prodigy/I’ma do my thing, no apologies/Coconut and rose in my skin regime”
“Q.U.E.E.N.” by Janelle Monaé feat. Erykah Badu
Janelle Monaé’s “Q.U.E.E.N.” is an unapologetic anthem about living life on your own terms.
The Lyrics: “Am I a freak for dancing around?/ Am I a freak for getting down?/ I’m coming up, don’t cut me down/ And yeah I wanna be, wanna be/ Even if it makes others uncomfortable/ I wanna love who I am/ Even if it makes other uncomfortable/I will love who I am”
“Queen” doesn’t ask permission to live her best life!
“Flawless (Remix)” by Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj
I have both the original and the remix with Nicki Minaj because:
- You can never have too much Beyonce on a self-love playlist
- The original featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED adds a powerful punch.
Adichie states:
We teach girls to shrink themselves/To make themselves smaller/We say to girls/You can have ambition/But not too much/You should aim to be successful/But not too successful/Otherwise you will threaten the man/Because I am female/I am expected to aspire to marriage/I am expected to make my life choices/Always keeping in mind that/Marriage is the most important /Now marriage can be a source of/Joy and love and mutual support/But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage/And we don’t teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors/Not for jobs or for accomplishments/Which I think can be a good thing/But for the attention of men/We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings/In the way that boys are/Feminist: the person who believes in the social/Political, and economic equality of the sexes.
“I love Me” by Meghan Trainor and LunchMoney Lewis
This is a fun upbeat song that you’ll want to listen to on repeat.
Cause I’m sexy and it ain’t my fault/I ain’t waitin’ on nobody’s call/You don’t want me, baby, that’s your loss (Your loss)/ I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, baby/ And you can tell by the way I talk (You hear me?) And you can tell by the way I walk (Two stepping, baby)/That I can see it clearer when I’m lookin’ in the mirror/Saying God made me just right.
And my personal favorite, “Go and raise your glass, give yourself a toast/I love all y’all, but I love me the most.” Why didn’t I think to include this in my wedding toast?
“Good Thing” by Zedd & Kehlani
This song reminds you that you are your own best company.
I book myself tables/At all the best restaurants, then eat alone/I buy myself fast cars.
Just so I can drive them real fuckin’ slow /I like my own company/Company, I don’t need it /I’m not always cold /I’m just good on my own, so good on my own
“Queen” by Jessie J.
Reminding us to meditate, love ourselves, and stop listening to what the world defines as beautiful.
I tired of seeing it/I’m tired of feeling this/The world says beauty is changing
Fuck that, it’s fake expectation/Not the real shit/Let’s get naked/ Start meditating
Feel elevated and say/I love my body/I love my skin/I am a goddess
I am a queen/I love my body/I love my skin
I am a goddess/I am a queen.
“Confident” by Demi Lovato
Another Demi Lovato self-love banger (no pun intended).
I used to hold my freak back/Now I’m letting go/I make my own choice/Bitch,I run this show.
So leave the lights on/No, you can’t make me behave.
Own who you are in and outside of the bedroom
“Hot Girl Summer” by Megan Thee Stallion
Rappers like Megan THEE Stallion encourage women to unapologetically embrace their sexuality. “Hot Girl Summer” isn’t just a summer banger, it’s a movement. It’s a call to love ourselves and be confident AF.
In an interview with Power 107.5 Megan talks about the importance of self-self-confdence
“It’s important that we have self love and self confidence because that’s where just feeling beautiful starts from,”Megan Thee Stallion
“Body” by Megan Thee Stallion
Did you know “Body” is a declaration of how much she loves her body? Before her AMAs performance she released a pre-recorded video of herself reciting a powerful message about self-love. She says,
“My body is mine. And nobody owns it but me. And who I choose to let in is so lucky. You may not think my body is perfect, and it probably never will be. But when I look in the mirror, I love what I see.”
“Savage” by Megan Thee Stallion
This song speaks on the complexities of being a multifaceted women and loving all ourselves
“I am” Yung Baby Tate featuring Flo Milli
I’m sure you’ve at least heard the first 15 seconds of this song. Yung Baby Tate’s “I am” affirmations have become the latest Instagram reel trend. But it’s the last verse for me.
Yeah, look in that mirror (look in that mirror)/Tell yourself everything that you wanna hear (what you wanna hear?)/Tell yourself that you that bitch and make that clear (make that shit clear)/Never stressin’, never lack, ain’t got no fears /(ain’t got no fears)
Need I say more?
“Pretty Girl Rock” by Keri Hilson
This song is perfect for when you’re feeling pretty and petty.
Lyrics:
Pretty as a picture, Sweeter than a swisher/Mad ’cause I’m cuter than the girl that’s witchya/I can talk about it ’cause I know that I’m pretty/And if you know it too, then ladies sing it with me.
Self-love Songs for Unwinding
These are songs to listen to while you’re going through your morning routine or when doing a yoga flow. My go-to for Sunday morning is anything by Jamila Woods because she is meant to be listened to in blissful solitude. I wrote a blog post on how music helps me avoid self-sabotage on the weekends. I shared my vibes playlist, and Jamila’s “Holy” will forever be one of my favorite songs.
“Holy” by Jamila Woods
Lyrics:
Woke up this morning with my mind set on loving me / With my mind set on loving me / I’m not lonely, I’m alone / And I’m holy by my own
Give me today my daily bread / Help me to walk alone ahead / Though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no love / Oh my smile my mind reassure me I don’t need no one
“Lonely” by Jamila Woods
In this song Jamila sings on the difference between alone and lonely
The Lyrics:
I could be crazy/But my crazy is my own (my own)/My own, my own/You think I’m crazy/I’ll be crazy on my own (my own)/My own, my own/I don’t wanna wait for my life to be over/ To let myself feel the way I feel (I feel)/I don’t wanna wait for our lives to be over/To love myself however I feel (I’m not sorry)
“I am light” by India. Arie
Lyrics that spoke to me:
“I am not the things my family did/I am not the voices in my head/I am not the pieces of the brokenness inside/I am light/I am light”
“Created” by Arielle Estoria
To me, “Created” is not just a song, but a soulful spoken word poem.
Verses that spoke to me:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?
“Feeling Good” by Nina Simone
This is my go-to song while watering my plants or Sunday morning breakfast
Lyrics that spoke to me:
It’s a new dawn/It’s a new day/ It’s a new life for me, ooh/ And I’m feeling good
“Superbloom” by MisterWives
You deserve a round of applause, you resilient flower, you/I deserve congratulations/’Cause I came out the other side/I’ve been having revelations/And I’m gone’ let them shine
Self-love Songs for Black Women
“Brown Skin Girl” by Beyonce, Blue Ivy, SAINTt JHN, and WizKid
Pose like a trophy when Naomis walk in/She need an Oscar for that pretty dark skin/Pretty like Lupita when the cameras close in /Drip broke the levee when my Kellys roll in/I think tonight she might braid her braids/Melanin too dark to throw her shade/She minds her business and wines her waist/Gold like 24k, okay.
The fact that Beyonce and her daughter sing this song together makes it even more special. Sing it Bey!
As a Black woman, I remember what life was like before the natural hair movement and before beauty brands were held accountable for their lack of shade range. I cannot fully put into words the importance of songs like this that highlight the beauty of our brown skin. There are countless songs about blue-eyed, golden hair, fair-skinned beauties, and even in hip hop, we hear “yellow bone” thrown around often.
Before I entered high school I had already tried a number of creams and soaps to try to lighten my complexion. This unfortunately was not that uncommon, I grew up in a time where if you had anything darker than a caramel skin tone, you felt pressured to buy skin lightening products and hide from the sun.
Thanks to self-love, my skin color is one of my favorite things about myself.
“I am not my hair” by India. Arie
On not letting friends, family or society put you and your hair in a box based.
“I am not my hair/I am not this skin/I am not your expectations, no (hey)/I am not my hair
“I am not this skin/I am the soul that lives within”
“Lullaby” by Tasha
In the past, I’ve written about how music can change my mood and mindset. It has also helped me avoid self-sabotage.
I love my self-love playlist because it helps me quickly get through whatever emotional distress I am dealing with. That way, I can get back on the proverbial horse of self-love and remain true to my authentic self.
With love,
Dani
Images shot by Caroline The Photographer Blog Post edited by Meilyn Woods